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Holy Cross

A small but prestigious Jesuit undergraduate college of old money, it is located on a ‘hill’ overlooking a mid-sized cesspool (Worcester, MA) and filled to the brim with rich white kids studying to be whiter and richer (when they aren’t totally hammered). The historic campus is a designated ‘arboretum’ which just means that olden day people planted lots of trees there so that drunken kids could later pee on them. The trees and fancy old buildings don’t make up for the fact that the campus is on the side of a damn mountain and the many stairs become death chutes during the notoriously snowy winters –which last till May. The food is of the lowest quality although gaining weight is rare due to the fact that crossing campus requires climbing between several altitudinal zones. A’s are not given to students at and those who seek them are readily advised to attend easier schools –like Harvard. Holy Cross has the highest academic rating of any Catholic institution in the country (98/100) and ranks above most comparably snobbish colleges (see ‘Ivy League’). To lessen the obvious pains of academic life most students resort to aggressively binge drinking in large groups throughout the week, continuing to pursue the activity in a more belligerent form over weekends. Though most students never want to leave, graduation compensates them with a 65k+ starting salary, a fondness for Vineyard Vines, and life membership to AA.

–“Joe, didn't you go to Harvard?”

–“No, I went to 'cause I'm not Asian and I drink too much.”

–“I’m applying to Holy Cross because I want to make more money than my asshole friends at Georgetown

–“Dude I like those pink shorts.”
–“I got them when I went to Holy Cross.”

–“How do you remember? You got alcohol poisoning last time you were there.”

by cracklebananas December 18, 2011

78👍 15👎


Holy Cross

Preppy, isolated school overlooking one of the more useless cities in the US, Worcester. Filled with people who really would rather be shitfaced then in class, the atmosphere can be quite maddening if you do not have the means to escape campus everyone now and then (aka have a car). The food sucks, but that is not a problem for most, since anorexia is all the rage here. When in doubt, if you don't know someone's name try "Caitlin" or "Joe."

caitlin please wear lacoste, not imposter. this is Holy Cross, not Worcester State. mix my gin with vodka please, not juice. i alreay had 110 calories at dinner with my 2 oz. salad.

by nice day for panic attacks May 1, 2006

118👍 78👎


Holy Cross

When you slide your boner up, around and then under your belt as to conceal it from unsuspecting bystanders, resulting in a perpendicular formation between said boner and belt. Often performed through manipulation of the boner through a pants pocket, but when done professionally, direct contact can be performed inconspicuously as well.

"I had a raging boner today in class, thank god for the Holy Cross when it came time to stand up to do my presentation"

by BonerBender5000 August 7, 2008

27👍 33👎


Holy Cross

A stick with a line going through it that people obey and worship

dear holy cross tell my son that i didnt mean to grab his somewhat thick ass

by leseshrmushrooms8 October 14, 2020


Holy Cross

A Drinking School with an Intelligence Problem. Once you graduate, you recieve a free pass to Rehab along with your Masters in Pre-Med/Biology. If you are looking for a place with great diversity, easy grading, good food, and intelligent girls, don't come here. Also, stay very far away from the Hanselman dorm, they are all a bunch of killjoy, boring assed and ugly faced over-achievers who like to sit with eachother in their hallways playing beirut with milk and talking about how great the Sunday Mass is going to be. So in conclusion, if you like drinking and receiving lower grades than you ever have before, come here. But stay away from those dull shitfucks in Hanselman.

-Have you been to Holy Cross?

-Yeah, the girls were very stupid and I drank with my friends RA.

-Sounds sweet

-It is, but the food gave me the shits.

by The422Club November 10, 2006

59👍 101👎


Holy Cross

Moderately povvo high school in Sydney, Australia. Avoid.

"See that guy in the tattered rags, with the knife, setting that car on fire? He's from Holy Cross."

by T.H. July 23, 2004

29👍 46👎


Holy Cross

A tiny private school in Lynchburg, VA with crappy acedemics and a great basketball team. No one but your mom and your math teacher cares what your grades are as long as you play volleyball, basketball, or softball.

It doesn't matter that he has a 1.3, didn't you see his four 3-pointers in a row last night? Hell yea, that's what Holy Cross is all about!

by Non-athlete March 11, 2006

10👍 33👎