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A question male colleagues used to ask back in the old days before you could just go to Facebook and see all the details of how everyone's wives are doing.
How's the wife?
She's doing fine, thanks.
Not according to her status update this morning she isn't.
Well then what did you ask me for, you @#$%!
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The perfect saying that could be used in any situation.
Person 1: How's the wife?
Person 2: She took the kids.
Person 1: Good job on getting those little crotch goblins off your back.