I kid

It is a somewhat old fashioned way of saying "just kidding." It sounds more Shakespearean than "jk d00000d."

Person A: Bitch, I'll kick your ass!
Person B: *Gasp* You have such a sailor mouth!
Person A: What the motherf**k??
Person B: Har har, I kid, you old sea dog!
Person A: Har har har har!

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I kid you not

this incredible anecdote is indeed bona fide; I vouch for the veracity of this statement

A common utterance among guys who wear wifebeaters (GWWW)

synonym: I swear to God.

So then she just stuck the whole thing in her mouth. I kid you not.

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I kid you not

A phrase said by a condominium after a male orgasm

After he came, the condom screamed, I kid you not!

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I kid, you not

What a kid says to an adult

Adult: Hey man!

Kid: I kid, you not

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kimbpap-i kidding me?

Quote by Seungkwan, a member of the K POP groups SEVENTEEN.
A way of saying «are you kidding me?»
The phrase is often used by «carats», which is the name of SEVENTEEN's fanbase.

Seungkwnan: Kimbpap-i kidding me?»
Vernon: No, man. It's true.

who-am-i-kidding condom

The condom that all guys above 13 have in their wallets and bring to parties even though they know that they wont be getting any.

Dude A:Hey, i think that girl likes me.
Dude B:take her upstairs...
Dude A:allright, i dont think anything will happen though. im way out of her legue.
Dude B:well do you have your who-am-i-kidding condom?
Dude A:yeah...
Dude B:then you might aswell try. If the rooms a-rocking, i wont come knocking

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who-am-i-kidding? condom

The sole condom, possibly past it's use-by date that is stored in the wallet of the hopelessly single.

That bitch stole my wallet! I mean seriously, what's she going to do with my expired Driver's License and who-am-I-kidding? condom

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