jew years

A term reffering to the Jewish new years holiday Rosh Hashanah

Yo, man Happy Jew Years. 5767... sounds like a good one.

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Jew Years Resolution

A resolution made by a gentile to do something nice to a person or persons of the Jewish faith out of guilt that Jews around the world have been getting fucked over since the dawn of time; Made at the begining of each new year.

MARK: Dude, I feel so bad about the fact that we only use Israel for their oil connections...I'm gonna make a Jew Years Resolution to go down to a Temple and give them like, Matza or some weird Jew shit like that.

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two-day-a-year-jew

A Jew, usually reformed but he or she can also be conservative if they go to a large enough temple, who only goes to temple for the two days of Rosh Hannah, though occasionally they may show up for Yom Kippur (although the fasting impairs socializing). They usually spend the most of their time socializing outside with their friends.

"I didn't even know Michael went to this temple!"
"Oh you didn't know? He's been a two-day-a-year-jew since his Bar Mitzvah."