Jim Beam Jutsu

A martial art developed in the early twenty first century, it is used primarily to combat bar tabs at Miller's Ale house, employment, and other people wearing Affliction t-shirts. While the true origins of this discipline still remain shrouded in a form of Oriental mysticism, it is believed that it was first used on December 30th, 2006 when Tito Ortiz lost to Chuck Liddell in UFC 66. According to legend, two men went to the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey. While engaged in a heated argument over the fight one of the guys, enraged by the other patron's equally misinformed opinion, attempted a take down he learned from his free MMA lessons at the Y. The two men proceeded to writhe on the floor. Beers were spilt. Ed Hardy t-shirts were ripped. Words like "arm bar," "triangle choke" and guillotine" were thrown around with reckless abandon. Most other people thought they had gone into an epileptic seizure. It was then that Jim Bean Jutsu was born.

Did you see that guy in the fedora? Yeah, he tried to administer Jim Beam Jutsu on the bouncer. That's why he is getting placed on the gurney.

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