Jortz

(v) The act of ejaculating in one's jean shorts.
(n) Jean shorts which have been ejaculated in.

"Man, that girl was so hot I almost creamed my jeans!" "You mean you jortzed?"

"These jortz are so crusty I put legs on 'em and used them as a coffee table."

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Slap Jortz

To perform extraordinary acts of human ability but only in the presence of unattractive members of the opposite sex.

“Did you just backflip in front of that uggo? That slap Jortz!”