Kiplinger

Kiplinger: A Germanic surname of unknown origins. Anyone blessed enough to have been born a Kiplinger would be best suited to praise God on an hourly basis for this act of divine grace. If you're a Kiplinger, chances are that you're extraordinarily good looking, insurmountably intelligent, and wealthy beyond all measures.

Gee, I wish I could be a Kiplinger.

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Kiplinged

Extremely hammered. Wasted, fucked up, faded, blacked-out, etc. A reference to the water monitor lizard from Jessie.

"Dude Kyler is MIA and apparently he drank 3 Four Lokos. Have you seen him?"
"Yeah, he's in his room drunk texting his ex. Buddy's absolutely Kiplinged."
"Fuck."