Kok Weng Seah

The Singaporean version of the internationally recognised term for a deranged and arrogantly hostile counterpart species of the human race, the 'Karen.' Using an upwards of a trillionth of their brain's power, the Kok Weng Seah is a hazardous and life-threatening entity who tends to scour the durian section at the supermarket, as well as keeping a well-trained eye on the newspapers, hungry for more vouchers to feed their addiction to kang kong, 3-day old sushis from the gas station, and their increasing sensitivity to the slightest of touches from kids.

Doctor: "I'm afraid your wife... is a Kok Weng Seah."
Man: "Whoever said she was my wife? She's just some creepy stalking aunty from the supermarket complaining about that time I took her $3.57 kang kong!"
Wild Kok Weng Seah: "It was $3.59! And it was the cheapest on sale!"
Man: "Don't talk abusive cock, there was another one on sale for $3.22."
Kok Weng Seah: "... Cos of you! Block the view!"
Man: "You look more likely to block the view than I do."
Kok Weng Seah: "... Stop or I call police!" *holds up 'phone'*
Man: "... That's a prescription for my diarrhoea."
Kok Weng Seah: "... How about this!?" *holds up another 'phone'*
Man: "... That's my diarrhoea."
Kok Weng Seah: "... I like."

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