La-Z-Boy

To put a lubricant such as lotion in a plastic bag, and put your wang in there, and "fuck the couch"

Jerry pulled a La-Z-Boy because he couldn't ever find a date.

43👍 17👎

La-Z-boy ferret crunch

The #1 cause of premature death for ferrets.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

HUSBAND: Hey, honey, have you seen Freddy the ferret?

WIFE: No, sugar, I haven't.

HUSBAND: I've been looking for him for an hour -- I don't know where he could be. Oh, well, I guess I'll just sit down and watch some ESPN.

(Sits down, everything is fine. Then reclines -- SqueeKRUNCH! Very sadly, the La-Z-boy ferret crunch has taken another ferret life before it's time.)

HUSBAND: Oh my God! It's Freddy! Dear God...

OZZY: Don't let this happen to you.

33👍 7👎