Lowe's Home Improvement

The epitome of ass-kissery. As soon as you walk into a Lowe's, your ass saturated with the spit of every employee that crosses your path; but it is not their fault, because it is what they have been constantly told to do every day. Lowe's is built upon the model of "excellent, excruciatingly-paranoid, money-pinching, annoying, ass-kissing, customer-focus". The best thing to do when you see a "red vest" is to cut a corner and run. These people are already stressed enough with the dumbass questions that get flung at them every day so one more question is just one more reason for them to eat a bullet.

Customer walks in Lowe's:

"HI! BILLY MAYS HERE WITH Lowe's Home Improvement WAREHOUSE! WE HAVE LOTS OF ITEMS TO HELP YOUR EVERY NEED FOR EVERY SITUATION! HOW MAY WE BE OF SERVICE TO YOU TODAY SIR OR MA'AM???"

Customer: Holy fucking ass crackers! Can I not look at the fucking power tools without being bombarded by damn service? Fuck this I'm going to Home Depot where people leave me the hell alone!

52👍 7👎