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A sub-board of a makeup site comprised of white, 25-50 year old women. This is where women who are bitter at the world go to unleash their bitchery in order to feel better about themselves. Many are mothers which is frightening when you see how they act.
Common topic du jour's include:
picking every attractive woman posted apart (yet if a MUAer posts a picture of themselves "omg gorgeous!"), shitting on feminism, "flaming" people who say something a MUAer doesn't agree with, casual racism, pets, how making 70k a year means you're poor, college (most MUAers claim to have a college degree yet are still complete fools), shitty significant others, obviously made up stories, etc etc.
This is a very hostile environment & almost everyone who frequents Cafe has a severe mental/emotional issue. If you're better off than a majority of the people on the board you must be sickeningly humble or prepare for shit to be flung your way. Nice posters exist but are few and far between, and most "normal" and sane posters left a long time ago.
A rundown on some popular posters with names redacted to give you a feel of the board:
Unstable ex-junkie addicted to cosmetic injectables and tacky hair dye.
Popular for being cheery yet despised by some because she ruins their incessant brooding.
Sugar baby who hates women.
The Kim Kardashian of the board. Stupid and vapid yet people can't stop talking about her.
Racist republican who thinks native Americans deserved to have their land stolen.
Makeupalley cafe is a black hole filled to the brim with women you would never want to meet.
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The board on makeupalley on which the women love to make up excessively stupid and FAKE stories for attention. they make-up that they have diseases, that they're SO finds a tooth in food, that they found a super expensive purse for $600 dollars cheaper (yet can't tell you where), that they found a magic diet, that they're ALL a size 00 and have curves (lmao), that they're cat did something superrrrrr cool, that they're SO's are ALL supposedly good in bed, that they were never supported by their parents (and that it's bad to be), that they all have new cars (HAHAHA), that they NEVER tried drugs when young, or whatever other stupid things they can make up for attention.
"Omg, omg, guess what makeupalley cafe my cat just did a sommer-sault and then a new gold bracelet came out of my SO's poop!!! OMG!"
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The otherwise excellent makeupalley beauty and wellbeing website's weak spot is the cafe board. There is teenage angst re boys and relationships, looks, unfair parents; derogatory comments about mothers-in-law (watch your back if your son gets an MUA girlfriend); disgust re pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding - oh, and pubic hair; childless posters who apparently have the expertise to comment upon child-rearing practices and the inadequacies of parents; nauseating fawning over pets, yet many US cats are subjected to onychectomy, a practice prohibited or restricted in many countries; bragging posts by the sexually 'daring' who aren't doing anything different, just making more 'look at me' noise about it; bashing of and ignorance about feminism, history, the world; pointless posts about pooping (grow up and let us eat our snacks at the computer in peace); film and book recommendations that are usually lowest common denominator formulaic rubbish. The format of the board is chatroom-like, which is a strength, and sometimes there are posters with whom it's possible to have a respectful exchange of ideas, some truly liberated thinking, and real fun rather than a repetition of the same in-jokes. The board is dominated by Americans so be politically incorrect or try a little subtle humour at your peril. Finally, be prepared for some eye-rollingly ignorant posts when the banned topic of religion rears its head, and remember that correct spelling is beyond a majority of the posters, most of whom don't have the excuse of English being their second language.
makeupalley cafe board is where I will learn that 'most people that call themselves feminists are actually mysogynists' and that having pubic hair is unhygienic
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A subdivision of the internet site Makeupalley. The cafe' message board is the place where all of the fat, middle-aged, cat-loving (yeah, don't make a joke about cats, you'll be attacked for ages) who are members on Makeupalley decide to spend all day and all night creating drama, throwing a bitchfest, and picking apart every message posted to find some way to start a problem. They're constantly talking bad about celebrities and pretty people (out of jealousy and to make themselves feel better because we all know they're all ugly and fat) and they all like to divulge every personal aspect of their lives (how all of their husbands cheat on them, how they're drunk every night, etc). They get cheated on because they spend too much time online and are too dramatic. Most of them have no job or the job that they have is entry level, yet they can afford expensive things because they drive a 1990 camry and live in a cockroach infested hole in the wall. The favorite topics for the women on the cafe' board are usually: sex, bashing of celebrities, anorexia (everyone is anorexic in their eyes), declawing, pregnancy, marriage, and pretty much anything that can be turned into a dramafest.
"I go on the Makeupalley cafe' board for my daily dose of drama."
"Ok honey, go cheat on me again, I'll be on the makeupalley cafe' board getting fatter and wasting time with a bunch if middle-aged crazy women."
"Let me go make myself feel better by talking on the makeupalley Cafe' board about how anorexic or ugly all the celbrities look"
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Just read definition #1. Does it sound like it was posted/written by someone without an axe to grind? The Cafe board on Makeupalley (MUA) is the place where there are no "off topic" posts.
Of course, if some trolls (See: Beautybash) can't cause trouble there, they run back to beautybash and try to justify their existence by posting idiotic things to try to make their small, dark souls feel somehow better.
Everyone who's not out to cause trouble is welcome in the Makeupalley Cafe.
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Yet another lame definition written by someone with an axe to grind (see: beautybash)
The cafe is the message board for any/all topics. There are some great and helpful women there. And all are welcome, as long as they don't start trouble.
The Makeupalley cafe' board is a great way to kill time.
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