Marital aid

Marital aid earplugs

Whenever she gets on a rant I just slip on my marital aid

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marital aid

1) Truly an item or object used to create a better sexual experience for lovers. A vibrator or sex toy. A dildo or the like. Sexual lubricants. Flavored sexual lubricants. Ribbed condom or the like.

2) A term used to incite laughter on a job-site or construction site to identify a large tool.

1) Kirk: "Spock, come to my ready room, and bring our favorite marital aid!"

2) Johnson: "Smith, go get that high torque two-inch hole boring hammer drill..and get the kid to come here to help me with it would ya!?"
Smith: "I'll get the kid and HE can bring you the marital aid!"

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marital aid

a conservative euphemism for sex toys, see also marital device.

Republican Husband: Honey could we have intercourse please?
Republican Wife: Well dear . . . I'm not aroused, but if we got out the marital aid I could be.

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Marital Aid

At a quick glance, appears to represent a marriage therapist or counselor, but is in fact a euphemism for a device you stick in your husband's ass to spice up a boring marriage.

Wife-"Hey honey, i just picked up a "marital aid" at the shop today."

Husband-"Why do we need a counselor, our marriage just hit a rough patch?"

Wife- "Um...you should sit down for this"

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