Maryland Crab Mallet

When your significant other is on her menstrual cycle, you turn her sideways and make a fist. You slide 4 fingers in her love tunnel and jam your thumb in her anus. You bring her to orgasm and your hand looks like it’s covered in Old Bay and crab mustard when you pull it out.

She was on her period and I wanted crabs, so I gave her the Maryland Crab Mallet.