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A super hottie. Normally a guy with that name gets lots of pussy.
His name is Mateus
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God's real name, or more accurately, the name of the real God. Mateus accidently created the Universe and humanity during his campaign against The Zombies. This is regarded by many as his greatest mistake. Currently resembles a cynical, annoying 16 year old in the U.S.
Mateus: "I'm sick of everyone worshiping that Jesus guy - my name's Mateus damn it. I'm bored - anyone know where I could find a good hooker?"
107👍 39👎
A magical jew fairy who does some trippy shit. Likes to frequently troll. It is unknown to the world but Mateus is the biggest skux of all time.
"Oh hey Mateus, hows it going?"
"Pretty average, only scored about 300 CHICKS!...................
LAST NIGHT!"
30👍 10👎
THE BEST PERSON EVER!! Amazingly talented and smart. Has amazing freckles and super HAWT
Oh wow what's his name? Oh that's Mateus, he's awesome isn't he?
24👍 8👎
A really hot person that anyone will love. If you where there friend never let go of them or your life will fall apart.if u are his girlfriend or wife them you are on of the luckiest person on earth. He might sometimes think you like someone else but he would still love you.he is caring and if someone try’s to hurt you he will protect you.
Person 1: wow that person is hot!!
Person2: i know right. It’s because his name is Mateus.
11👍 3👎
A Mateus is a animal commonly found in big dumpsters with shit and expired milk in it. A Mateuses normal traits are sucking dick and fucking men in the ass. When you see a Mateus you should run away and say, “go fuck yourself,” it makes them literally fuck themselves in the ass while you escape.
O shit, that’s a big Mateus, we better run, “go fuck yourself,”.
Eww there’s a Mateus in this dumpster with shit in it.
26👍 24👎