Matt Simon

Commonly known as “Molly Matt”(because he loves molly his gfs name), he’s the sweetest boy who would never touch drugs or alcohol. NEVER. He respects the law and would never do something like public urination. Matt hates fraternities and believes they are no fun and doesn’t want anything to do with partying. He also LOVES black people.

Man1: “Dude it’s Matt Simon!”
Man:2 “I know people call him Molly Matt because he just loves his gf”
Man1: “Wait I thought it was because he took Molly?”
Man2: “Mchale shut the fuck up.”