Random
Source Code
Random
Noun \i-หmษr-jษnt-sฤ\
1. An unexpected and usually dangerous health related situation that calls for immediate action.
2. A patient requiring urgent and immediate medical attention
3. An occurrence or condition which prevents one from being capable of performing the duties of their job and/or living because of impending threat to their visual acuity, extremity locomotion or core autonomic respiratory and circulatory functions (aside from a severe case of Crying Baby Syndrome CBS)
In short: LIFE, LIMB or EYESIGHT
If you do not meet one of the definitions above, your situation is NOT an emergency and can wait until the primary care provider's office opens. Additionally, if you had the time to read this entire sign, you are most likely not an emergent patient.
*Frantic knocking on door*
Medic: "It's 0236. What's the medical emergency?"
Random Whiner: "Doc, I've got a bad cough and I stubbed my toe..."
Medic: "You... Cough. . . Toe. . ."
*Grabs weapon, chambers round*
Random Whiner: "Erm..." *runs away quickly*
Medic: "Feelin better now, eh?"
when one runs out of medical marijuana
Bob: what's wrong,why are you so distraught
Rick: i didn't want to let you know but, I have no master kush
or headband
Bob: we'll just smoke some white widow, green crack or granddaddy purple , or blue dream
Rick: no you don't understand there is nothing, no
platinumorbubba kushnoOG kusheither, not a g of northern lightsAK-47white rhino
orrussian not a joint ofpineapple expressbannana kush orsour diesel not a crumb oflebanese hashcheese kief or drop ofhoney oil not a roach offloeuphoriastargazermazarcindy99LA confidentialalaskan thunderfuckhawaiian blue sativaromulanbarney.....
Bob: oh my god! nobody could have imagined such a
crisis what a catastrophe!!!
it is a medical emergency!!!!
p.s. medical emergency! is never seen without exclamatory marks, remarks, or headshaking sympathy for the victims of this heinous plight.
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The people who hold oxygen cylinder for the paramedics.
"Here, hold this," said the paramedic to the emergency medical technician.
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Also know as EMT there are three levels, EMT 1, 2 and 3 level 3 is also know as paramedic, EMT's can also be firefighters. EMT
"When she fell the Emergency Medical Technician came to save her."
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In NY there are 4 levels of Emergency Medical Technician 1-Basic, which are sometimes assistants to 3's and 4's 2-Intermediate which aren't very common 3-Critical Care(ALS) 4-Paramedic(ALS) the only difference between 3's and 4's are about 2 drugs and the ages of pediatric patients they can work on.
1's cannot start iv's the only drugs they can give are oxygen, asprin, glucose, and albuterol (from ages 1-65), they can bandage, board, collar and take vitals from anyone but when other drugs, heart monitoring or iv access is needed ALS is called.
"County to Oralsexville request for you to respond to 123 Cleavland Steamer Ave. 68 year old male, difficulty breathing and chest pain.
County, A-69 en route BLS, re-tone my angency for ALS"
"County to Oralsexville request for you to respond to Scumbag apts. apt 16, the Sperm residence, some stupid fuck says he wants detox, but hes really out of beer and wants a sandwich and sleep it off until tommorow when hes sober enough to find his welfare check and buy more beer"
"sounds like a BLS call to me"
Sucks being a Basic Emergency Medical Technician!
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