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a Mortenson is a packet of sensation, thai sweet chilli crisps, and a pint of fosters.
You: I'll have a Mortenson.
Barkeep: That's 2 punds 30.
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The act of banging a chick in the ass, then getting head, and then French kissing her
That hoe from the club last night tried to give me a dirty Mortenson. I kicked her the fuck out!