Musturbate

/mŭstɚbeɪt/

verb

To masturbate with mustard.

1: I musturbated yesterday!
2: That's disgusting, get help.

4👍 3👎

Musturbating

A term coined by American Psychologist Albert Ellis explaining that if you look at the things that anger, upset or frustrate you, 99 % of the time, you have a MUST, OUGHT or SHOULD in your thoughts.

Parents:
You really shouldn’t buy that much alcohol...

Their kid:
Well y’all really shouldn’t be doing a lot of things, but you don’t see me getting into your goddamn businesses.

Both the parents and the kid had a SHOULD/SHOULDN’T in their thoughts leaving them musturbating.

musturbation

Self-righteous or ostentatious insistence that the entire Universe will disintegrate if one does not keep oneself busy. In other words (mime jerking hand up and down) you must-must-MUST do the dishes/feed the cat/write more letters. From the writings of M. Scott Peck.

You've been tiling and re-tiling the kitchen wall for the last year. When's the musturbation going to stop?

25👍 18👎

Musturbating

When a male wishes to partake in single-handed autoeroticism, however they have run out of lubricant such as lotion. In this case, they use mustard as a substitute for lubricant.

"Mom! Q is musturbating again!"
"Goddamnit don't you have any lotion???"