Mycroft

*THE* British Government and the most dangerous man you will ever meet.

•Mycroft: "For goodness sake! I occupy a minor position in the British Government."
•Sherlock: "He is the British Government - when he's not too busy being the Secret Service or the CIA on a freelance basis. Good evening, Mycroft. Try not to start a war before I get home, you know what it does for the traffic."

―Sherlock and Mycroft in "A Study In Pink".

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mycrofting

When a particularly sexually-adventurous chap takes a rusty vice-clamp and secures it rigidly at opposing points of his anus, and proceeds to twist clockwise until the pain is too much to bear and a black hole forms, sucking everything within a 100 mile radius into his super-tight rectum. This will generally produce an especially violent supernova within this man's colon, most likely affecting the next few day's bowel movements.

Craven Morehead: *weeps openly* I was so sad about my girlfriend breaking up with me that I went mycrofting all night long. My anoos is soooooo sore. I'm afraid to go to the doctor because the vice is still stuck on my asshole.

Jack Mayhoff: Were you feeling really lonely or something?

Ken Yah Swalo: (entering) No, I forced him to do it. I thought it would help him get over his girlfriend. (pause)... It didn't work.

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Pulling a mycroft

When you forget to turn off the stove, when making tea, after a number of hours, your water has evaporated, and your pot is seared; consequently also, when you forget to turn the stove on and you wonder, after a lengthy period, why the water isn't the least bit hot. *Can be used in reference to any kitchen dealings.

"Jenny, the water evaporated, you pulled a Mycroft again!" - "Silly water won't boil if I pull a Mycroft."

Pulling a Mycroft/When failing as a human in the kitchen.