Octopissy

Medical condition defined by the dire need to urinate shortly after the rapid consumption of 7-7.5 pints of alcoholic beverage.
Symptoms include: slurring of speach, swelling of the lower abdomen leading to acute pain in said area. And occasionally in cronic cases, vomiting on footwear

Budge out mate, the octopissy's kicking in. Where's the small room?