Oughtobiography

This is what your autobiography ought to have been but isn't, wasn't, but might have been, if you had had more ambition, had been more interesting, insightful and, er, smart, and hadn't been so hypnotized by your smartphone, Vudu, Hoku, Playmation, claymation, popcorn and beer, the Ponies, cheap likker, and all the other distractions Corporate America wants you to spend your money on.

Oughtobiography The octogenarian sitting on a pin in the Florida panhandle, said:"I coulda been a contenda!" as he spitballed the words across the room of the Shady Acres Nursing Home, "But instead I'm writing my oughtabiography on paper napkins for "ErrWhats?" and "WaddaYaSays?".