perfect turd

A perfect turd is a turd produced in one push that is a solid column of shit that rests on the bottom of the toilet bowl with its top poking out above the water line.

Jack laid a perfect turd that when he checked his performance was standing up in the bowl looking back up at him

Turd Perfect

As good as things can get for a piece of shit

Friend: Life is fucking awful

Other friend: for you, they're Turd Perfect