Paranokia

Paranokia

(noun)

A state of anxiety that afflicts cellphone users and results in the following behaviours:

- Many people simultaneously checking their phones when a message arrival tone is heard. Generally occurs in a public/crowded place.

- Frequent checking that keylock is enabled and that a phone isn't accidentally pocket dialing someone, especially if that person is currently being gossiped about

- Constantly checking for new text messages or emails, even though you haven't heard or felt one arrive since you last checked

- Having left your phone behind at home or the office, the feeling of absolute certainty that you are missing vitally important messages and/or booty calls

Having once accidentally pocket dialed the boyfriend of the girl he was having backseat sex with, Jeff's paranokia ensured that he switched his phone off during subsequent engagements.