Petaluma Syndrome

A syndrome that is a result of growing up in Petaluma, California. Symptoms include:

Having two or more (or in some cases all) of the following phases; Punk, crust punk, rockabilly, psychobilly, vegan, indie, hipster, hippie, metalhead, fail-goth, gay, bi, lesbian.
But never remaining any of these for more than a couple years.

Saying things like "I hate this little town, I'm moving to Portland."

Having parents that offer to support you, and a car, yet you ride a bicycle everywhere and eat food that was recovered from dumpsters to maintain "status." People from different cities will find that ironic. You won't understand why.

Throwing a shit-fit when someone else gets a haircut similar to yours, or dyes it the same color. This symptom is particularly prevalent in females. It is a serious threat to your uniqueness. You will complain for weeks, but eventually change your hairstyle out of pride.

Did you hear that Bobby DeSoto quit his job after high school? Yeah, I guess he got himself a mongrel road-dog and hopped a train to portland. He has a case of the Petaluma Syndrome.

49👍 18👎