Random
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Random
Noun.
For anecdotal use in the description of one’s faecal defecating or discharging experience(s). Specifically referring to those which are associated with, but not limited to; constipated movements that ensue for circa 27 years, before they come out.
‘Hey boss. Sorry I was in the bathroom so long earlier; today’s was a real Phillip Schofield!’
‘-Hey Sharon, how was the natural birth?
-Not fun Susan. My newborn son went full Phillip Schofield on my birthing canal. I required stitches, Susan.’
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Friend: ‘Do you go to church ?’
Me: ‘Nah. I just watch Phillip Schofield on This Morning’
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When you'er having sex with a girl and you can't get it up. She's getting disappointed by this escapade as she was looking forward to a night of passionate love-making. Not to disappoint (Insert her name here) you put a cardboard box on your head and genitals, whack her with it and shout "Everything is harder... in the cube" and run away as fast as you can.
Hmm. this stress is affecting my ability to maintain an erection, I'd better Phillip Schofield Sarah tonight
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