Pionel Pepsi

Washed up pen merchant that is said to have haunted relegation clubs like Eibar and Mallorca. Currently farming in the Uber Eats league but is finished and only has 2 goals this season. Known to ghost on big game occasions such as his missed penalty against Chile in the Copa America 2016 final and in the 2014 World Cup final against Germany. Finished player who played for a finished club for most of his career. He is most recently found missing pens in the champions league against Real Madrid.

Me: Grandpa, who is Pionel Pepsi?

Grandfather: Never speak of his name again - he is a washed up dwarf pen merchant who only scores against shite teams like Bolivia and Eibar

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