Reader's Digest Syndrome

(n) - The tingly, prickly, and sometimes debilitating feeling in the legs after a long toilet session. Most commonly resulting from sitting there too long to finish a column or story in the bathroom companion. Originally resulting from its namesake magazine, Reader's Digest Syndrome or RDS can result from any lengthy toilet/reading session of any material.

I took the magazine to the crapper so I could read a quick article while I drop the kids off at the pool. I ended up reading a 5 page article about some dude falling off a cliff even though I was blessed with a one wipe wonder. I tried to stand up but I had a serious case of RDS (Reader's Digest Syndrome) and my legs gave out. I ended up blacking out when I hit my head on the toilet. The janitor found me 2 hours later with pants around my ankles. I think he took my magazine...

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