Room-mate-from-hell

1)Someone who:
Has a mortal fear of showers.
Cuts his filthy, puke-inducing toenails right in front of you.
Hawks up phlegm, and then chews it and swallows, around fifty times an day.
Farts around 50 times an hour, and laughs every fucking time, like a fucking moron.
Doesn't even own a fucking toothbrush.
Tells you when he's just masturbated, and describes it in intricate detail.

2)Proof that no god exists.

Paul:Man, I saw your room-mate yesterday. I swear to God I could smell him from 50 yards. How THE FUCK can you live with him?
John: I don't know, I just don't know. I can't go on like this, John! I just can't!
* Starts crying on Paul's shoulder*
Paul: * pats John on the back*
There, there. There there.