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Scremus Retardis Kerenis

A special type of the (Homo Sapiens Sapiens) also known as the modern human, this specimen has a limited vocabulary, only being capable of speaking words like "refund, manager, and free", while being able to parrot some other words. They are an extremely demanding specimen who are ill mannered, short tempered and are best kept at a safe distance, and anyone unfortunate enough to encounter them in the wild should make sure to keep a good distance from them if possible. Should you be unlucky enough to encounter one while possessing a job in the service industry, the best way to deal with them is to follow your training, remaining calm at all times and if the situation doesn’t sort itself, get backup from a manager.

*Karen at the clothes store*
Karen: I have a 50% off coupon for this, * hands over coupon*.
Cashier: I’m sorry Miss, but this coupon is only valid for Men’s wear at full price which would make this more expensive than this already is, since this is at a 60% clearance sale, in addition this coupon expired last week.
Karen: But I couldn’t make it last week so I called to ask if it could be extended and I got a yes to that.
Cashier: Well I’m sorry but we can’t give extensions without a managers approval.
*Karen gets frustrated and starts screaming at the cashier that she needs this at 110% off, and makes a big scene. A couple of customers behind her, an Aussie with his bird as well as his best friend stands in line watching the commotion unfold*
Aussie: Hey, that Karen looks a lot like a Scremus Retardis Kerenis right?
Best friend: Yeah, I didn’t think I’d be able to see one in the wild, it’s amazing how she can actually act like that, I would’ve died of embarrassment if my wife acted like that.

by Mikkebak July 24, 2021

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