Shit Sprint

The straight-backed, knee-locked, cheek-clenched speed-walk to the bathroom to take a shit. Happens when you're about to shit yourself but can't run to the toilet because you need total muscle control to keep from shitting your pants. One is often unable to communicate with others because talking might divert concentration from the sphincter.

Man 1: "Did John hurt himself recently? He was walking funny when I saw him a minute ago."
Man 2: "No, Man. We went to Chipotle for lunch and he was probably just taking a Shit Sprint to the bathroom. I think I set a world record when I did the same thing half an hour ago."