Shmeables

An imaginary form of measurement usually used to subversively make people want to end their own lives in annoyance at repeated "shmeables". To really impress your friends never stop using shmeables, even in life or death situations, always respond as such: "meh, about 3 or 4 shmeables".

Idiot with no shmeables: hey how much money you got on you?
Chad with Shmeables: meh, like 2-5 shmeables
Idiot with no shmeables: *seething*