Smegg-mayonnaise

When you pull back the foreskin, and discover a Jacket Potato's worth of lumpy discharge beneath the mushroom cap.

Jane: "I finally managed to get my hands on Bill's penis last night."

Rita: "Oh, what was it like?"

Jane: "Well, It would have been fine, if not for all the Smegg-Mayonnaise"

Rita: "Shame".