Soggy Crumpet

Noun - Masturbating while crying; jerkin' with tears in your eyes.

After Brob was dumped by Luke, he couldn't help but give himself a soggy crumpet.

Jeff's nightly activities consist of pizza alone and a soggy crumpet before bed.

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Soggy Crumpet

Another male masturbating game similar to soggy biscuit, but much worse as the target is now a crumpet (a much more absorbent vessel). Participants must circle jerk onto the crumpet. Whoever comes first is deemed the winner and the loser must eat the cum-loaded crumpet.

Soggy biscuit? That's nothing, try soggy crumpet!