Spamaphobe

A spamaphobe is a person who not only dislikes having spam in their inbox but fears it. There are many different levels of spamaphobia, the symptoms of which can range from cursing and rashes to hives and/or swelling of the throat. Conventional methods rarely work to cure spamaphobes, but a large dose of pwning n00bs has been said to work.

Person A: I hate those stupid ads that pop up in my inbox! I do NOT need my wood to be bigger! (shivers violently) I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE
Person B: Haha! Stupid spamaphobe!