Emerson Spartz

The brilliant, witty and illustrious creator of Mugglenet.com who puts up with many irate anti-HP hate mail, throngs of crazed teenage females, all while trying to mantain a respectable website for Harry Potter fans. Is also very good-looking. Also met J.K. Rowling and is the object of much envy among the fans. May be considered a God by some. Is a master at singing the Notre Dame fight song. Opresses delusional shippers.

During an interview with Rowling herself, Emerson Spartz commented rather hysterically that Harry/Hermione shippers were "delusional" several times, to which Rowling chuckled...

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Spartz

Not to be confused with a queef, spartzing is the act of farting sparks from the anus after consuming a mixture of cheap vodka and gunpowder. Named after Russian-born House of Representatives member Victoria Spartz.

Victoria really lit up the room when the party guests asked her to spartz on command.