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Sperm Burglar

A woman who tries to trap a man by getting herself knocked up.

Obvious giveaways: she decides to have the baby anyway. Even when he says he’s not into it. And then of course tries to lock him down.

Often the plan fails, which leads to repeat offenders. A single mom with a baby or very young kid who wants lots of wild sex is highly suspect. Many try it again with a new target.

“Oops, I forgot to take my pill!” is the favorite method. But sperm burglars also poke holes in condoms, steal jizz out of discarded condoms, or simply scoop the cum inside her after he comes in her mouth or on her chest. It only takes one sperm to do the job.

See also: daddy issues, Dependent Personality Disorder, stage 5 clingers.

John: Jane is perfect for me—she loves all the kinky shit I do to her—even cumming on her face!

Roger: Don’t fall for that man. You know Dave didn’t want to have a kid, right? But she’s a sperm burglar, and she got him. He escaped though, so now she’s desperate to hook some new schmuck to take care of her and her expensive little mini.

John: Damn! No wonder she seemed too good to be true.

by Big Dongky October 19, 2019


Sperm burglar

A woman who becomes pregnant by raping a man.

Dave, "mate, you know that woman who raped me 9 months ago."
Mike, "Yeah, why did you just bring it up?"
Dave,"I saw her with a kid that looks a bit like a younger me."
Mike,"She's a sperm burglar!"

by Lukethesod September 16, 2008

25👍 24👎


sperm burglar

one who steals sperm by keystering.

That Brian Bates is a sperm burglar,faggoty ass mother f*$#er.

by Bitchen Clyde January 16, 2004

8👍 29👎