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A so-called "city" in Missouri--Springfield is more like a big small town. Many of it's residents suffer from small-town syndrome and many of the small business owners here think they are hot fucking tits and that their shit doesn't stink... all the while gentrifying the north part of the commercial district (actually just one street), ironically, most of these stores can't afford to stay open from 9 to 5. Residents of Springfield also enjoy not shutting the fuck up about cashew chicken or how bad the traffic is, even though the "city" literally takes 15 minutes to drive from one end to the other. For it's size, there are a surprising number of homeless people in Springfield contrasted by a church on literally every fucking corner where bible thumpers judge you and a ridiculous number of banks on every other corner. Downtown is full of frat douchebags going clubbing or diet liberals and wannabe hipsters who want you to know how woke they are and go to the same handful of bars... no need to worry though, some white dude with a beard and tattoos will probably open another brewery soon!
Person 1: "Springfield, Missouri is a really diverse place."
Person 2: "Isn't the demographic of Greene County over 90% white?"
90👍 11👎
A large town that thinks it's a city and wants nothing more than to be considered a real city. A town full of easily offended people. Locals from Springfield get butthurt when you say ANYTHING that can be even remotely considered criticism of the area. The town is nothing but indistinguishable strip malls, churches, shitty Chinese restaurants, and meth heads. This place is so behind the times they're just now starting to shit their pants over the discovery of craft beer.
Springfield, Missouri is NOT A CITY. It's a dollar store version of Columbia, Missouri but doesn't want to accept that it's a college town and does nothing to retain it's recent graduates.
Dumbass: Springfield, Missouri is such a great place! Did you know Brad Pitt went to High School here?
Sane Person: If it's such a great place, why did he move away at the first chance he could?
40👍 5👎
Where friendships go to die.
"Are you guys going to keep in touch?"
"No man they're moving to Springfield, Missouri"
"Oh"
58👍 41👎
According to the 2010 national census Springfield, Missouri is a town with a population of 159,498 which makes it a relatively larger town in south west Missouri which is an area of the state that is predominantly dotted by towns with populations less than 10,000.
Anyone who lives in Springfield can tell you that many of the residents lack two brain cells to rub together. Springfield has been considered one of the worst places to raise a family due to it's unusual high crime rate for a town of it's size.
Typical residents of Springfield are ill tempered, narrow minded and defiantly judgmental of those who don't fit their skewed perception of "normal" which is a bearded redneck the shoots a gun and thumps a bible and has a domineering over weight girl friend that bosses him around.
There has been a long time feud between the lower class, thuggish north side residents and the snobbish, upper class south side residents. Although the south side has less crime and has far better public schools with students that out achieve most of the north side students academically it still seems ridiculous to ethnically divide a town that takes less than 30 minutes to drive from one end of town to the other.
Person 1: Have you met that guy who just moved in from another state?
Person 2: Yes, he seems pretty dumb.
Person 1: He told me he's from Springfield, Missouri.
Person 2: That would explain it.
93👍 73👎
Great place to retire.
Place so where froyo, or Frozen Yogurt, was JUST discovered couple weeks ago.
Where there are 50+ Chinese restaurants.
A small-ass VILLAGE that people make damn sure to call it a "city".
NOT a city.
Where people can't drive worth shit.
Where high school athletes are considered to be jokes by REAL athletes from REAL cities.
Where fat, white rednecks SINCERELY believe that they have something in relation to the Afro-centric culture of hip hop.
Where girls remain pretty until they pop out a disappointment in the form of a baby at the age of 14.
"I cruise in the passing lane" -Typical driver from Springfield, Missouri
"I just discovered froyo last week!" -Typical student from Springfield, Missouri
"It's a city! Look, it has ROADS. You city people are so ignorant!" -Typical Springfield-ian
"Where the fuck do you see a building that goes over at least 3 stories? Of the 3 buildings here that ACTUALLY go over 3 stories, do you see any of them grouped together? Where the fuck are real clubs? Do actually successful/famous musicians come here on a consistent basis? And I can actually see the sky here! This is NOT a city!" -Any sensible human being
88👍 94👎
1 The place with the weirdest weather in the world
OR
2 The place with the worst weathermen in the world
1
Guy 1: "dude i didn't know you could have tornado producing snowstorm"
Guy 2: "welcome to Springfield Missouri, but don't worry, if you don't like the weather wait 15 minutes, it'll change"
2
Weatherman: "We are predicting approximately 10-15 inches of snow"
Springfield resident the next morning: "i've seen coats of dandruff thicker than this"
66👍 14👎
A tiny city that is simply the worst.
Locals will complain that the traffic is really bad here, but it’s actually the drivers that are bad. I have seen more wrecks and shitty driving in Springfield than in actual cities like St. Louis.
It’s not just the driving that’s bad, the people suck too. If you are here for more than a day at least one of these things will happen to you :
1. You will be told you are going to hell by Christian fundamentalists
2. You will be mugged
3. You will be catcalled by a drunk/high frat boy
Overall 2/10 those points are only because when I wasn’t loosing my mind or fearing for my life I was very entertained by the insanity of Springfield Missouri.
Friend 1: “How was your trip to Springfield Missouri this weekend?”
Friend 2 “Good! I only got rear ended once and the guy who mugged me didn’t shoot me after I gave him my money.”
19👍 3👎