StarDink

Earth-flattening ecotards that are vehemently against analog telephones, and insist that 5G cellular and internet is a human right, while having a dual income and no kids.

StarDinks believe that their internet connection is better than yours because it travels to other star systems with zero latency, and that someday they'll go to outer space to live on an imaginary mothership.

"Check out those StarDinks. They're really connected and saving the galaxy with pizza box satellites. How did we live without them?"