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According to the holiday's official website (steakandbj.org), Valentine's Day is a holiday created by greeting card companies, and that day is devoted to women. To be fair, there should be a special day for men to enjoy what they like. What do men like? Steak and blowjobs.
If a man treats his woman special on Valentine's Day, then she will treat him special a month later on March 14. Since men don't want flowers or teddy bears, his special day consists of a steak and a blowjob.
Sally: Do you know what today is?
Harry: March 14. Steak and Blowjob Day.
Sally: Yes. Since you made me feel special on Valentine's Day, it is time to put your meat on my grill.
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Celebrated on March 14th, Steak and Blowjob Day is a holiday for men, celebrated the month after Valentine's Day -- a holiday for women.
The idea is simple: no cards, flowers, candy or other whimsical gifts. Ladies (and gay men), you simply bestow your partner with a steak and a blowjob. Not necessarily in that order.
Dave: "Hey Bob, what did Sally get you for Steak and Blowjob Day?"
Bob: "Well Dave, that would be a big juicy steak, and a big juicy blowjob."
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A recently created and already widely known. This holiday for men is the equivalent to Valentines Day for women. Valentines Day is widely based around the pleasing of women we love, but now, a month later, these women we love can please the men they love. On Steak and Blowjob Day, every man's women will fire up the grill and cook them a big juicy steak that is just to his liking and then she will give him a big juicy blowjob, just to his liking. It can be in whatever order he wants, and when ever he wants.
Tom: Hey Bob, what'd Sandy get you for Steak and Blowjob Day.
Bob: What do you think man, a big juicy steak and a big juicy blowjob!
Tom: Nice!
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The greatest holiday ever, invented by Kevin Ferrera. The girls get all the attention on Valentine's Day, and deservedly so. But thanks to the geniusness of Kevin, the guys get all the attention on March 14th, one month after Valentine's Day, which is Steak and Blowjob Day.
Kevin: Do you know what holiday we celebrate on March 14th?
Jim: No, what is that?
Kevin: It's Steak and Blowjob Day!
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Men work very hard to satisfy their lovers on Valentine's Day, and, given their ebullient dedication, Steak & BJ Day is a joyous opportunity to repay the favour. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name explains it all: just a steak and a BJ on March 14th. That's it.
Some say it was invented by the Romans in 269AD, and institutionalized through St Valentine’s cousin, Claudius Fellatio. Others suggest that when World War II ended in 1945, president Harry S. Truman had the FBI covertly spread the word to act as a “welcome home” for the troops. All we really know, is that it’s pretty damn awesome.
officialsteakandblowjobday.com - @steakandblowjob
Phil: "Hey man, it's only one week until March 14th."
Dave: "You're damn right it is. I've already ordered the sirloin and bought a new bedspread. Practice makes perfect dude. Steak and Blowjob Day is SO much better than Christmas."
Phil: "Amen. Fillets and fellatio. Rumps and romping. It's coming, and so shall you."
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Steak and Blow job day, as I've known it to be for many years is on March 10 due to it being the 69th day of the year except for when it is a leap year, then it is March 9. But for simplicity, let's just keep it March 10.
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The product of a flawed plan concocted by men to create a new (fictional) holiday that enables men to receive both a steak and a blowjob from their girlfriends/wives on a specific day annually, apparently in a rebellion against the 'chore' of Valentine's Day.
However, whilst attempting to demean and get one up on their female counterparts these men have forgotten that this ridiculous holiday entitles them to ONE steak and ONE blowjob a YEAR. Therefore providing women with a justified excuse to avoid the activity becoming a regular occurance.
Nope, I'm not doing it. National Steak and Blowjob Day isn't for another 8 months... you'll have to wait it out.
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