Swayz-fu

Bad-ass noun. Pronounced "Sways-foo."

A style of kung fu for the conscientious, considerate combat artist. This master of eastern philosophy and western cool can kick ass in all walks of life - be it on (or with) his surfboard, falling out of a plane and fighting in mid-air, serving in the army (where he never quite gives in to the collective jarhead identity of his fellow soldiers), sniping commies in the mountains, driving long-haul trucks, bouncing for roadside bars or even making pottery from beyond the grave - while showing just enough softness to let those around him know he'd rather be meditating, accepting the energy of waves or bedding major babes.

A word of warning, should you come across a learned pretty-boy disciple of Swayz-fu, do not underestimate or test said disciple, and most importantly, do not join forces with forces of corruption to bring him down, cuz he'll rip your fuckin' throat out with a lightning fast cobra strike.

Ex. 1: After performing a touching dance routine with a formerly awkward, newly confident teenage girl, an anonymous greaseball punk was foolish enough to question the sexual orientation of the softshoeing creator of the legendary Swayz-fu while also making an aggressive pass at the girl. He was rewarded accordingly with a destructive palm to the nose and a crunching knee to the groin.

Ex. 2: Should you live only to get radical, the way of Swayz-fu is the one true path. 100% pure adrenaline.

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