Sweltie

An overpowering Mass Hickey given its name by the sheer force of the sucking power such that the remnant is a full-on Welt.

“Well, Mango did it again. He cc’d so many people on his last email about Javier’s sale that he must have given himself carpal tunnel syndrome. It was like he spent hours moistening his lips before he latched on for this one as he really left a bunch of Swelties. I bet that everyone who got the Sweltie had to run to the drug store for some salve. Mango needs to cc himself on some of these just so that he can grasp the feeling of a Sweltie. See Self Sweltie.

Self Sweltie

A self-inflicted Sweltie often used in email by way of a cc or bcc to oneself.

I gave Mango so much shit about his Mass Hickies and Swelties that I told him to take his own medicine and cc himself to see how it feels. After giving himself a Self Sweltie, Mango reported that his self-inflicted welt felt like he’d been scrubbing his ass with sandpaper for a week. He immediately ran to the drug store for an ice pack and some salve.

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