Synaptic Relationship

My thoughts are the threads of the tapestry of my life. I manifest my life with my thoughts. Without my thoughts I am a comatose vegetable with no manifest reality. Every thought to which I attach a personal emotion becomes a stitch in my tapestry. I can think fear without being fear, but the moment I attach my personal emotion of fear to a fearful thought, I have invited fear into my life. One lonely fearful thread may not do any harm but, if I am not careful, very soon the threads of fear work together to make a pattern in my life. Then a scene begins to emerge in my tapestry - a needle point detail that describes my fear - with some focus the entire threads become a scene of fear; by fear and for fear. No matter how I spin it, no matter how I try to artistically codify those threads, in the end it is still a scene about fear.

By attaching an emotion to my thoughts - i.e. joy, fear, hate, love or anger - the thought acquires a synaptic relationship to that emotion (a comfort zone, if you will). This emotional investment manifests a fabric of emotion to drape over my thought and clothe it with something that belongs to me (kind of like a uniform). Then my emotion is disguised as a thought, and the thought is disguised as an emotion. This emotional relationship gives my thoughts shape, texture and form in the three-dimensional world where my body resides - which is supposed to be outside of my thinking. Next a three-dimensional presence is manifested as the reality of my life, and it appears in the form of people, places and things.

My tapestry is quite like the plumage of a peacock, attracting other peacocks with a reality similar to my own. I grow the plumage - or weave the tapestry if you will (since I am mixing metaphors) - because it suits my purpose and my purpose is to live in fear, to doubt everything, not to trust anything or anyone - or NOT.

“My thoughts were stitched into the fabric of my emotions
until the synaptic relationship to my feelings had dyed the tapestry
of my life the bright red color of fear.” ~Rusty Cline~

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