Plumage

Facial Hair. Pubes don't count.

Damn how old is Chris Pearson? That hairless little monkey can't even sprout any plumage!

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Plumage

A common adornment on the hats of band nerds at performances, comprised of feather-like material.
(also known as plumes)

"We're goin' out on the field, man, get yer plumage!"

"Those band nerds are lookin' SO fine with their plumage!"

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Breeding Plumage

Breeding Plumage is most visibly noticed on overweight human males while bending over or kneeling down and most notably while in jeans. While in this position, a large area of the male’s rear end (cheeks and ass crack) usually become exposed through a non-intentional process and becomes readily viewable to the general public. While debate is still strong regarding this phenomenon, it is highly believed that passer by females may become attracted to the male resulting in the completion of the breeding ritual. Breeding Plumage has been seen in the bird world as well. Males generally have brilliantly colored feathers during mating season which they show off in order to attract female mates.

Whoa! better stand up man. Your plumber crack is really exposed.

Not to worry dude. Just hanging my breeding plumage out to see if there are any interested ladies.

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Prime Plumage

An ounce of high-end, rare, sativza-dominant hybrid leafy weed.

Guy 1 : “Dude you’ll never believe this! *Bursts with excitement*
Guy 2 : “What’s up bro!?”
Guy 1 : *on verge of heart-attack excitement* “I got uss a whollee ounze of PRIME PLUMAGEEEE!!!
Guy 2: *—Dead from a heart attack caused by overexcitment—