TeleBears

1. What UC Berkeley students are forced to endure before every semester.

2. The shittiest, slowest, most outdated and least logical website on the World Wide Web. With programming carried over from when it was a telephone service (hence the name), all your info will be lost if you hit the back button, and its inner workings are a mystery to all. Although its stated purpose is to help students register for classes, what it really does is cause lots of stress, anger, and frustration.

"Fuck Telebears!" - common facebook status during the month of August

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Telebear

The Telebear is a bear that dwells in web of the UC Berkeley internet system, preying on innocent students that think they have created awesome schedules, lulling them into a false sense of self righteousness and security in terms of their schedule planning. When students log into the Telebears system, the Telebear proceeds to rape the minds of UC Berkeley students by telling them that the classes they want at the times they want are FULL. The Telebear shows no mercy forcing students into signing up for 8 A.M. classes, Friday afternoon classes, and classes they don’t give two shits about. He is one fucked up son-of-a-bitch.

*Cal student logs into Telebears for Telebears appointment*

"Hell yea!!, Just made my awesome schedule on Course Rank/Ninja Courses, no 8AM classes and I can go home on Fridays!! Time to sign up for them on Telebears!!"

*proceeds to enter Course Control Numbers to register*

*Looks at computer screen, scanning intently for the sections he/she wants*

"WHAT!?!??!?! NOOOO!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!??!?!!?"

*the class that student wanted is full*

"FUCK"

*proceeds to CourseRank/Ninja Course classes*

*same result when CCN's are entered into Telebears, time after time*

*20 minutes later*

"GODDAMNIT!!! WORK, TELEBEARS. WORK YOU COCKSUCKING PIECE OF SHIT"

*ends up disappointed at schedule, but relieved to at least get some classes*

to roommate "aye nigga, i just got raped by the Telebear"
roommate: "its iight man, i got raped by the Telebear last night"

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