Test-tard

The hard of thinking individuals who test themselves daily to see if they are ill, usually with zero or common cold symptoms.

Test-tard: I better take my daily test
Normal person (tinfoil hat conspiracy nutter): But you don't have any symptoms and those are 96% inaccurate?
Test-tard: OMG positive test, I'm going to die I must self-isolate for 14 days and cancel Christmas and my holiday to keep safe