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The first installment of the new Star Wars "prequel" trilogy. Not the worst Star Wars movie. Definitely not the best, but Attack of the Clones is BY FAR the worst movie.
Reasons The Phantom Menace is not the worst Star Wars movie:
- the podracing scene is pretty awesome
- free of Lucas' notoriously bad romance scenes
- the finale with multiple battles going on at once is spectacular, particularly the Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan vs. Darth Maul lightsaber duel, which is the most intense lightsaber fight of all 6 movies
- it was responsible for getting a whole new generation into Star Wars -- speaking from experience, this movie got me into the original trilogy when I was a kid (of course I now like the original trilogy far more than this movie)
Reasons it still kind of sucks:
- Anakin and Padme's dialogue is horribly stilted, and the movie is really not very well-acted on the whole
- It doesn't really seem like anything important happens, other than scooping up Anakin from Tatooine
- Jar Jar Binks. enough said.
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Refers to a man with a boner walking or standing behind people while poking at them with his erect penis.
Damn! I just got Phantom Menaced!
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the idea of being in denial, for an extended period of time, that a movie you've watched was bad or disappointing, especially after having highly anticipated it; after this period, you eventually admit to yourself that said movie was, in fact, not as good as you'd thought.
"My most recent case of phantom menacing was after Jurassic World, where I remained in denial for a good half year before finally coming to my senses."
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The worst of the Star Wars movies, and also the one with the stupidest title (although Attack Of The Clones is daft, it doesn't sound like a name of a Scooby Doo episode).
Let's just look closely at the plot for a second..
Qui-Gonn Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi are sent to Naboo to negotiate an end to the blockade imposed by the Federation.. oh my god I'm yawning already. They rescue Padme and end up on Tatooine. Sadly without a hyperdrive.
So Qui-Gonn uses the Force to cheat at gambling with the locals, and enlists a 10 year old to race in an incredibly dangerous local sport. Does he care if the little squirt ends up as toast? No, not really - he didn't go there to rescue slaves. Anyway, they eventually manage to scam their way off the planet, taking Anakin with them since his midichlorians are off the scale. Uh huh.
Back on Coruscant, the Jedi Council pronounce Anakin unsuitable for Jedi training, so Qui-Gonn decides to do it anyway.
Cut to big battle on Naboo, carnage, improbable battle tactics, and didgeridoos cluttering up the soundtrack whenever we see the Gungans.
Darth Maul (one of the more rubbish Sith lords) kills Qui-Gonn and gets killed by Obi-Wan. Anakin saves the day. Palpatine starts touching him. Big street party, the end.
The special effects resemble something done to show off Luca's special effects workshop rather than anything to advance the story. Sadly, these effects are trounced by the WETA of LOTR fame.
Rubbish acting throughout, with wooden, humourless performances from all except Liam Neeson as Qui-Gonn and that guy who plays Palpatine.
Characters:
R2D2 - as usual, saves the day
C3PO - Annoying as ever
Qui-Gonn Jinn - now we found out what the Jedi were really like, a bunch of dodgy bastards
Obi-Wan Kenobi - should have been played by Russell Crowe.
Padme - Mmm, Natalie Portman.. shame she wasn't anywhere near as good as she is in Leon, or anything else
Palpatine - Like Liam Neeson, played by a great actor trapped amongst a cast of CG and equally lifeless actors
Jar Jar Binks - Die. Please. Just die. Galactic scum.
I'm surprised no-one else has defined The Phantom Menace. One word review - it's rubbish.
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A threesome involving three men. Often two of which are in a relationship, hence the third party is the 'Phantom Menace' of the encounter.
'Hey Karl, me and Jonny are feeling adventurous tonight, fancy being the Phantom Menace?' Asked Frank.
Karl solemnly agreed.
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An act whereby someone takes a dump in the tank section of the toilet rather than the bowl, leaving a menacing and lingering smell of unknown source
Ron left a phantom menace in the office bathroom before the Thanksgiving holiday. Upon the office's return the following Monday no on could determine the source of the stench.
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The act of letting your dog shit in someone else's yard and then bending over to act like you are picking up the feces without actually doing so. Menace comes from the fact that your dog is making waste on another's property, and phantom comes from the fact that it must be done steathily. This manuever is usually performed at night but can performed during the day against neighbors you have absolutely no respect for.
I just pulled off the Phantom Menace during the day with Mr. Chang in the front yard. He yelled at me but I couldn't understand his oriental gibberish
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