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The best thing about the English is that we're not bad at understatement.
"That multiple orgasm was quite nice actually."
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when english people talk using mostly english slang.
near to imposible for people from other counties to understand.
sometimes it can be misunderstood by english people.
his faja:i coulda had it away with this fucking julie my old china.
austin:are you telling pork pies in a bag of tripe? if u were feeling horney why couldn't you just have a jay Arthur.
his faja: what? Billy no mates?
austin:too right you.
roughly translated...
his faja:i could have been fucking this sexy lady my friend.
austin:are you telling lies?,if u were horney why could you pleasure yourself?
his faja: what alone?
austin:yea.
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The original language, that is to say the language spoken by the people of its country of origin. As opposed to American English (aka 'Anglo-American') and worst of all Microsoft English (though there are a few others which vary from the original to a lesser extent).
The most notable change in the American variant of English is that it has hundreds of changes to spelling, mostly to make it more phonetic, though there are a few words which have been added or their definition changed.
Microsoft English is the language that Microsoft Word describes as 'English (UK)', and remains a mystery to us mortals. No-one knows what the f*ck it is, but it's certainly not quite the same as anything else. I really want some of whatever the programmers were smoking when they made Microsoft Word's spelling/grammar checker (emphasis on the grammar check).
Person A - "WTF?! Look at this grammar 'correction'!"
Person B - "Whoa! What's that all about? I wish MS would just use English English!"
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A language Samuel L. Jackson speaks.
"English Motherfucker! Do You Speak It!?"
Or as Samuel L. Jackson would say in Kingsman: The Secret Service:
"Englis Motherfucker! Do You Speak Ith?"
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a language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary
That word didn't used to be part of english.
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an expression used if the preceding statment was incoherent even though it was in english anyways
"The dude was all lik "blam", and i was jus "ya know" and it jus went down"
"Can you say that "in english" please?"
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Either means the people of England or a sadly mangled language. Once belonging to the Germanic Anglo-Saxons, the language has since become influenced by scores of other languages, slowly destroying the English language and its structure and rules.
Shanty (From Gaelic "Sean taigh"("old house")), galore (from Gaelic "gu leòr" ("enough")), whiskey (from Gaelic "uisge" ("water")), hamburger (from "Hamburg steak"), flower (from French "fleur", itself from Latin "flor"), bloom (from German "blum" ("flower")) and countless other words from so many other languages have, for better or worse, steeped into English.
"Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going." -Richard Lederer.
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