thirstology

The study of the social issues of thirstiness; the ongoing effort to find ways to counteract the detrimental effects of thirst: neediness, attention-whoring, paper-chasing, overt eagerness, creeping, and desperateness. A professional thirstologist has a responsibility to educate the public on how to avoid quenching thirst by cupcaking or simping.

I need to pick up some knowledge on thirstology, cuz this hoe text me like 15 times in the last minute.

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Thirstology

A religious movement dedicated to the thirst for Tom Ellis. You do not join the church of Thirstology, instead gradually your camera roll fills with pictures of Tom Ellis and your predictive text offers you relevant thirsty terms after his name. At that point you are a Thirstologist

I was looking for a pic of my child but I got distracted by a photo of Tom Ellis, seems that I'm now a practitioner of Thirstology.