U-Scan

A machine used to purchase goods with out directly going to a cashier. Often requires reading a screen to tell you what to do next, but no one ever reads anything and starts screaming at the U-scan attendant.

"Damn that cashier looks pissed and her line is way too long, lets go to U-Scan."
Customer: "Excuse me it says please wait for the cashier"
U-Scan Attendant:"Yes sir you are the cashier this is U-scan, just hit the green enter button"
Customer:"No, it says im waiting for cashier"
U-Scan Attendant:"Yes and this is U-SCAN and you are the cashier, so just hit the enter button"
Customer:"So what do I do?"
Attendant bashes had off wall repetitively

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U-Scan Swap

A trick used to fool a U-Scan. U-Scans have a weight monitoring system that knows how much an item should weigh when you put it in the bag. You can take advantage of this by scanning one item then putting an item of similar weight in the bag. The main use of this is to scan a cheap item and get an expensive one of similar weight.

Jim: Why did you scan that mountain lightning and put the Mountain Dew in the bag?
Bob: Because I just U-Scan Swapped it mother flowers!

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