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An immaculate drink found deep in the heart of the Congo. Due to it's combined rarity and absurdly exquisite taste, it is currently the most expensive drink on the planet. As a result of this it is often drunk in combination with water to achieve a "percentile" level that is both affordable and adequately dilutes the sweet, juicy nectar to a point where drinking it is actually bearable - drinking 100% Um Bongo is not advisable, it is too tasty and will leave you wanting more, however due to it's extreme cost this may not be possible and can lead to a dangerous spiral into theft, prostitution, and eventual death.
Most commonly found in The Compound, Lobo
TOR member: "Oi Davy what percentile is that?"
Davy: "90%"
TOR member #1: "Fuck I'm hungover..."
TOR member #2 "Mate have some of my Um Bongo, but make sure you have it with ice, and I don't want the percentile any higher than 30%"
TOR member #1: "TOR"
"TOR"
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Um Bongo- it was a juice containing mixed tropical fruits such as Pineapple, Mango, Passion Fruit etc that was sold in cartons in the UK. It was the shitty drink that kids used to beg their moms to buy or use their 15p pocket money to buy it after school. It tasted like crap and the company stopped producing it whent hey realised it was so shit.
A) Hey, lets go buy some Um Bongo after school.
B) Alright! I mean it does taste like fruity piss but hey, its cheap so yeah.
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Very drunk. Etymology: the recently-revived 1980s fruit drink Um Bongo.
("Way down deep in the middle of the Congo,
A hippo took an apricot, a guava and a mango.
He stuck it with the others and he danced a dainty tango.
The rhino said, "I know, we'll call it Um Bongo"
Um Bongo, Um Bongo, They drink it in the Congo.
The python picked the passion fruit, the marmoset the mandarin.
The parrot painted packets that the whole caboodle landed in.
So when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle,
They all prefer the sunny funny one they call Um Bongo!" TV advert probably pulled owing to minimal likelihood of the Congolese actually shipping in long-life tropical fruit drinks from the UK.)
"Elspeth, what made you put this half-bagel in the DVD tray?" "Oh sorry mate, I was completely um-bongoed..."
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